Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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