to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
