Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
