oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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