if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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