dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
