also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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