so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize