What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize