you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
