Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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