my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
