We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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