i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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