If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You ruined the universe
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
