just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
