Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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