Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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