can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
