ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
