He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Damn victory sex feels great
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
