I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize