i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
