Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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