i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
