found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize