matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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