The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
its liver damage thursday
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
