i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
