is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i think im in europe. pls send help
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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