I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize