Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My dick has a subreddit
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
