if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hippo gnu deer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
