I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
