An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
