How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
