I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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