A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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