I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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