Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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