Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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