I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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