I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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