Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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