on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
