I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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