And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
