i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
