I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
