Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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