In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize