I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
