Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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