For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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