I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
