your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
