Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
