I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
