so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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