I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you win again, gameday.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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