Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
