I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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