Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
