VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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