I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
