I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
