That's intense
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
