Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
