you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
