I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
