so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
