That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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