Where is the hickey?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
