This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
