I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize