why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
