just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
