tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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